What is it about being 30 years old?
Almost every man fearfully begins the need to feel like he's wanting to break out on his own when he hits around 30 years old.
If he chooses successfully, he'll grow and enjoy a huge sense of adventure.
If he chooses comfort, he'll inevitably hit his mid-life years with a crisis.
What were your thirties like?
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Family Poem
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
you'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.
"By this time, I felt very small,
and now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
- Source Unknown.
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. Come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
you'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.
"By this time, I felt very small,
and now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
- Source Unknown.
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. Come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
Monday, April 24, 2006
Miscarriage Aftershock
Today is 13 March 2006.
We went to the doctors this morning to confirm the miscarriage and to get bloodwork done. I can't remember the last time something was so painful to write about... we also went to get an ultrasound confirmation. There is no remaining elements of a baby there, and her uterus and ovaries are clean and healthy, meaning there will be no D & C. That's good news.
I'm so terribly numb in my emotions. I'm glad my bride can get it out, but there's so much bottled inside me, I feel that it's all stuck. I can't smile, laugh, cryu, or even feel the overwhelming loss of this baby. I want to, but I'm in a prison. If I could put a picture to it, I feel trapped under ice. I'm so tired... so cold... so distant... so numb.
Our baby is gone. What happens to a soul when its body is dead? "To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord."
What about a four-week old fetus? Where do they go?
What will they look like in the Resurrection?
Will he/she know me?
Will he/she know me as their dad?
This is too painful for me to continue writing.
We went to the doctors this morning to confirm the miscarriage and to get bloodwork done. I can't remember the last time something was so painful to write about... we also went to get an ultrasound confirmation. There is no remaining elements of a baby there, and her uterus and ovaries are clean and healthy, meaning there will be no D & C. That's good news.
I'm so terribly numb in my emotions. I'm glad my bride can get it out, but there's so much bottled inside me, I feel that it's all stuck. I can't smile, laugh, cryu, or even feel the overwhelming loss of this baby. I want to, but I'm in a prison. If I could put a picture to it, I feel trapped under ice. I'm so tired... so cold... so distant... so numb.
Our baby is gone. What happens to a soul when its body is dead? "To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord."
What about a four-week old fetus? Where do they go?
What will they look like in the Resurrection?
Will he/she know me?
Will he/she know me as their dad?
This is too painful for me to continue writing.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Miscarriage from a Dad's Perspective
Today is 12 March 2006.
We have been expecting a precious little baby for a week now, since it's been confirmed at our doctor's office that my wife has been pregnant about six weeks now...
except for what happened today.
She's been bleeding since she first discovered it going to the bathroom around 7:30am. We've talked with our doctor, her mom, and her best friends; trying to get advice. Also talking with my boss who confirmed that she is of highest priority, no doubt and that I need to be with her; thus not needing to go to work today.
I wish this wasn't happening. I wish this wasn't written on the pages of our Life Story. The insides of my nostrils tingle with sorrow, and my eyes are welling up with tears as I write this. My head aches and my heart is sad. I read my wife's beautiful journal entry about all the emotions she has been feeling and her anticipation of holding this dear little child in her arms. When I got to that part, I flung it at the wall... I don't want this to be happening!
It's at times like these when I hate life experience, and I don't want to become more mature because it means I have to go through P-A-I-N. I'm sick of it!
I now feel like I can relate a little more to people who have lost their children to death, like my parents with my sister or our friends who lost their 18-month old in a drowning accident. I know it's totally different, but still... I was excited about our child, and now my hopes have fallen into a dark pit and remain, awaiting the light of another day. But not this day. The day of our miscarriage.
The baby's birthday would have been November 5, 2006.
I need to take my mind off of all responsibility and just veg out with a video game... lose myself into some kind of fantasy world. I want to medicate the pain and be done with this, but I know Jesus will heal us and bring us joy down the road.
I'm a man, right? "A man is someone who... expects the greater reward, God's reward." Children are a reward from God (Psalm 127:4-5)! God, please give us all the reward we can handle!
We have been expecting a precious little baby for a week now, since it's been confirmed at our doctor's office that my wife has been pregnant about six weeks now...
except for what happened today.
She's been bleeding since she first discovered it going to the bathroom around 7:30am. We've talked with our doctor, her mom, and her best friends; trying to get advice. Also talking with my boss who confirmed that she is of highest priority, no doubt and that I need to be with her; thus not needing to go to work today.
I wish this wasn't happening. I wish this wasn't written on the pages of our Life Story. The insides of my nostrils tingle with sorrow, and my eyes are welling up with tears as I write this. My head aches and my heart is sad. I read my wife's beautiful journal entry about all the emotions she has been feeling and her anticipation of holding this dear little child in her arms. When I got to that part, I flung it at the wall... I don't want this to be happening!
It's at times like these when I hate life experience, and I don't want to become more mature because it means I have to go through P-A-I-N. I'm sick of it!
I now feel like I can relate a little more to people who have lost their children to death, like my parents with my sister or our friends who lost their 18-month old in a drowning accident. I know it's totally different, but still... I was excited about our child, and now my hopes have fallen into a dark pit and remain, awaiting the light of another day. But not this day. The day of our miscarriage.
The baby's birthday would have been November 5, 2006.
I need to take my mind off of all responsibility and just veg out with a video game... lose myself into some kind of fantasy world. I want to medicate the pain and be done with this, but I know Jesus will heal us and bring us joy down the road.
I'm a man, right? "A man is someone who... expects the greater reward, God's reward." Children are a reward from God (Psalm 127:4-5)! God, please give us all the reward we can handle!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
The Power of Dad
There are three types of parenting:
1. Absent parenting: Many parents are so career-minded that their focus becomes how to provide for their kids financially, as opposed to giving them their best energy and time. Some parents aren't there at all, leaving a gaping and bloody hole in the hearts of their children for their entire lifetime.
2. Engaged parenting: This kind of parent attends their children's ball games, takes their sons on hunting or camping trips. This is a great leap from the Absent parent, which will leave them crippled for life, but something is missing in terms of launching that arrow at the right target.
3. Strategic parenting: This kind of parent is intentionally thinking through and acting on how to raise their sons into authentic manhood, and their daughters into feminine women. This kind of parenting gives direction and vision for the future. It's living beyond today and pointing the way throughout life.
Dad is destiny! His presence or lack of it has no rival in a child's life! An ancient Proverb says "the glory of sons is their fathers" (Proverbs 17:6, the Bible). All you dads out there have an enormous amount of power and influence over your sons and daughters. But let me speak to the needs of a son for a moment.
There are three things every son needs to hear from the mouth of his own dad...
1. "I Love You."
2. "I'm Proud of You."
3. "You're really good at __________."
Which of the three kinds of parents are you?
1. Absent parenting: Many parents are so career-minded that their focus becomes how to provide for their kids financially, as opposed to giving them their best energy and time. Some parents aren't there at all, leaving a gaping and bloody hole in the hearts of their children for their entire lifetime.
2. Engaged parenting: This kind of parent attends their children's ball games, takes their sons on hunting or camping trips. This is a great leap from the Absent parent, which will leave them crippled for life, but something is missing in terms of launching that arrow at the right target.
3. Strategic parenting: This kind of parent is intentionally thinking through and acting on how to raise their sons into authentic manhood, and their daughters into feminine women. This kind of parenting gives direction and vision for the future. It's living beyond today and pointing the way throughout life.
Dad is destiny! His presence or lack of it has no rival in a child's life! An ancient Proverb says "the glory of sons is their fathers" (Proverbs 17:6, the Bible). All you dads out there have an enormous amount of power and influence over your sons and daughters. But let me speak to the needs of a son for a moment.
There are three things every son needs to hear from the mouth of his own dad...
1. "I Love You."
2. "I'm Proud of You."
3. "You're really good at __________."
Which of the three kinds of parents are you?
Friday, April 07, 2006
How Early Should I Start Child Training?
This article comes from No Greater Joy, and was written by Michael Pearl, whose expertise is in Child Training.
At what age should I start disciplining my children?
At what age should I start homeschooling?
At what age should I begin teaching my children to work?
You must start training your children one year before their first birthday, because if you don't, they will be trained without your input. A sapling grows the way you bend it. But if you don't bend it, it will grow and take shape just the same, though not as you would have it. It will be shaped by the prevailing winds, which, you can be sure, never blow in the right direction.
From day one, every conscious moment of a child's life is training; every event, and non-event, is schooling, preparation for the rest of life.
Read more here.Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Releasing Arrows
Sending your children away can be a harrowing experience. Now a days, parents send their children off to daycare at a critical age when they need mommy and daddy constantly nearby, off to camp when they are little, off to Junior High when they're pre-adolescents, off to college when they've just graduated High School, and off to an unknown adventure when they get married--an experience totally out of your control, dad.
If children, and in particular, sons, are arrows in the hands of a warrior, how do we release these 'arrows' with an effective impact on our society and world?
By training them when they are young--yes, infants! Spend the time and energy to fight your urges to let them be cute while defying your commands. When they disobey you during their teenage years, it doesn't look so cute, does it? Train them to respect and obey you.
How, do you ask? We'll look into that tomorrow.
If children, and in particular, sons, are arrows in the hands of a warrior, how do we release these 'arrows' with an effective impact on our society and world?
By training them when they are young--yes, infants! Spend the time and energy to fight your urges to let them be cute while defying your commands. When they disobey you during their teenage years, it doesn't look so cute, does it? Train them to respect and obey you.
How, do you ask? We'll look into that tomorrow.
Arrows in the Hands of a Warrior
"Sons born during one's youth are like arrows in a warrior's hand. How happy is the man who fills his quiver with them! They will not be put to shame when they confront enemies at the city gate."
Psalm 127:4-5 NET Bible
Psalm 127:4-5 NET Bible
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